User Profile
Add Friend
Add Note
Track User
Send Message
Send V-Gift
The Mighty Battle Elk Rides Again!
Beware the MOOSE!
Created on 2003-07-04 14:08:43 (#1160650), last updated 2008-10-18
608 comments received, 1,007 comments posted
Basic Account [Gift]
72 Journal Entries, 9 Tags, 2 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 3 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | the (insert adjective here) Battle Elk |
|---|---|
| Website: | So you've decided to be evil. (not mine) |
BioI am the unnerving Battle Elk! It is my sole mission in life to ... I forget.
This journal is made so that you, the citizens of Earth who will shortly be crushed beneath my hooves of steel, will have a forum to beg for your lives at the hands of me, the merciless Battle Elk!
Someone decided that I am a random moose from 'Invader Zim'; I guess I can live with that. Besides I like mooses, they're hot. However I still consider this an original character since I decided the affiliation months after the journal's creation.
Minions
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
unpure_rose: my unintentional genetic creation, clone of pure_rose, secretary of evil and lapdances.
ohhthatguy: head minion in charge of marketing and being beaten senseless with various blunt objects.
mrjasper: new head minion in charge of the things ohhthatguy use to be in charge of, after ohhthatguy was raped and murdered by a ferret (ok, so I added the raped part just to make it colorful)
ohhthatkid: clone of mrjasper, after he was killed by a rabid monkey that escaped from the lab.
shewolf: insane mountain woman (tm) and chief adviser. Also a good lay.
husker_fox: minion in charge of being gay and getting laid a lot by random guys.
Enemies
deagol: he remains my favorite archnemesis, though a bit slow.
doug_fin: keeps throwing fireballs at me.
god_allmighty: thinks he's sooo smart just because he created everything, how conceited!
pure_rose: thinks I'm fluffy, must suffer greatly
madam_pegasus: some girl doug_fin sleeps with, but soon she will be mine! We sort of have a truce or something with her now though.
elkborg: what happens when one of my clones gets assimilated. A handsome fellow no doubt, but must die nonetheless.
My evil plan is listed below, to save me from having to go through the whole speech every time I'm about to kill a hero who has come to defeat me. Need an evil plan for yourself? (site is not mine, just cool)
Evil Plan (tm)!
My objective is simple: Widespread Misery.
My motive is a little bit more complex: Sadistic pleasure
Stage One
To begin my plan, I must first clone the Pope. This will cause the world to choke on their food, horrified by my arrival. Who is this sadistic fiend? Where did he come from? And why does he look so good wearing the skin of another human?
Stage Two
Next, I must seize control of United Nations. This will all be done from an Underwater Fortress of DOOM, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will weep uncontrollably, as countless hordes of mutant races hasten to do my every bidding.
Stage Three
Finally, I must reveal to the world my armies of destruction, bringing about the end of all things. My name shall become synonymous with insanity, and no person will ever again dare refuse to be my love slave. Everyone will bow before my dashing good looks, and the world will have no choice but to restore my credit rating.
( No bunnies were eaten, harmed, beaten, or raped in the making of this journal.)
This journal is made so that you, the citizens of Earth who will shortly be crushed beneath my hooves of steel, will have a forum to beg for your lives at the hands of me, the merciless Battle Elk!
Someone decided that I am a random moose from 'Invader Zim'; I guess I can live with that. Besides I like mooses, they're hot. However I still consider this an original character since I decided the affiliation months after the journal's creation.
Minions
unpure_rose: my unintentional genetic creation, clone of pure_rose, secretary of evil and lapdances.ohhthatguy: head minion in charge of marketing and being beaten senseless with various blunt objects.mrjasper: new head minion in charge of the things ohhthatguy use to be in charge of, after ohhthatguy was raped and murdered by a ferret (ok, so I added the raped part just to make it colorful)ohhthatkid: clone of mrjasper, after he was killed by a rabid monkey that escaped from the lab.shewolf: insane mountain woman (tm) and chief adviser. Also a good lay.husker_fox: minion in charge of being gay and getting laid a lot by random guys.Enemies
deagol: he remains my favorite archnemesis, though a bit slow.doug_fin: keeps throwing fireballs at me.god_allmighty: thinks he's sooo smart just because he created everything, how conceited!pure_rose: thinks I'm fluffy, must suffer greatlymadam_pegasus: some girl doug_fin sleeps with, but soon she will be mine! We sort of have a truce or something with her now though.elkborg: what happens when one of my clones gets assimilated. A handsome fellow no doubt, but must die nonetheless.My evil plan is listed below, to save me from having to go through the whole speech every time I'm about to kill a hero who has come to defeat me. Need an evil plan for yourself? (site is not mine, just cool)
Evil Plan (tm)!
My objective is simple: Widespread Misery.
My motive is a little bit more complex: Sadistic pleasure
Stage One
To begin my plan, I must first clone the Pope. This will cause the world to choke on their food, horrified by my arrival. Who is this sadistic fiend? Where did he come from? And why does he look so good wearing the skin of another human?
Stage Two
Next, I must seize control of United Nations. This will all be done from an Underwater Fortress of DOOM, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will weep uncontrollably, as countless hordes of mutant races hasten to do my every bidding.
Stage Three
Finally, I must reveal to the world my armies of destruction, bringing about the end of all things. My name shall become synonymous with insanity, and no person will ever again dare refuse to be my love slave. Everyone will bow before my dashing good looks, and the world will have no choice but to restore my credit rating.
( No bunnies were eaten, harmed, beaten, or raped in the making of this journal.)
ConnectInterests (25):
blood, bulls, cows, duct tape, eating bunnies, elks, fire, friendly playful yiffing ^_^, furry, invader zim, killing, moose, mutants, not being assimilated, poison darts, room with a moose, ruining the environment, sleeping with fishes, the pope, twisting kittens, underwater fortress of doom, weapons of mass destruction, world domination, wormholes, yiff
Friends [View Entries] Friends (21):
_samuraijack, blayzebright, bowtomehuman, deagol, doug_fin, dukeman, elkborg, endeligt, god_allmighty, herdivineshadow, husker_fox, joe_fixit, kupok, markusyote, ohhthatkid, osama_binladen, pure_rose, satan_dot_com, shewolf, tetrisalphabet, unpure_rose
Friend of (24):
Communities [View Entries] Watching (4):
Member of (9):
Feeds [View Entries] Watching (0)
